Signs of Child Grooming

By: the Dakota Children’s Advocacy Center

Child Grooming is a deliberate process by which offenders gradually initiate and maintain sexual relationships with victims in secrecy. On the surface, grooming a child can look like a close relationship between the offending adult, the targeted child, and potentially the child’s caregivers. Grooming behaviors are sometimes tough to spot because they are similar to ones displayed by a close friend or caring family member. By recognizing grooming behavior you can intervene, below are some examples of red-flag behaviors:

• Giving a child special attention
• Giving gifts or experiences
• Touching or hugging a child
• Being overly eager or available to help a family with babysitting or childcare
• Access to a child through digital means such as texting, chat apps, or email.

Remember that offenders often use affection, authority, bribery, and games to lure and isolate children. Also, contrary to the old warning of “stranger danger”, more than 90% of the time children are sexually abused by someone the child or family knows, someone in the child’s immediate or extended family, or someone close to the family. 

What can you do to help protect your child from abuse?

1. Have frequent, age-appropriate conversations with your child about boundaries, behaviors, and expectations.
2. Identify safe adults that your child can talk to if anything happens.
3. Discuss the difference between a surprise and a secret and why secrets aren’t appropriate.

Check out this fillable family code of conduct you can use to help keep your family safe.  More resources like this are available at www.D2L.org.